Dawn's Notes
Tomorrow I Take Action - February 2019
by Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW
Years ago when our grandson Sam was seven, he came to visit my late husband and me in the country. Sam and my husband liked to go rabbit hunting in our big yard.
Many times we counted as many as ten rabbits leisurely lounging around in our yard. Sam would get his BB gun, Ralph would get a pellet gun, and they would go “hunting.” Sam was repeatedly disappointed when he did not get a rabbit—the bunnies proved to be too fast and too illusive!
I was recently sorting old papers and cards when I found a piece of paper in Sam’s childish handwriting. He had written the following message. “Tomorow I take aksun (action). I plan to get one (rabbit), ma b (maybe) even to (two).”
Sam’s note was an example of determination as he wrote what he wanted to accomplish on a scrap of steno paper. But it did not happen right away. Sam did not get a rabbit with his BB gun until he was 11 years old when he shot a rabbit that was eating our garden. That’s when he finally accomplished his childhood goal!
After my husband died, I found it difficult to know what direction to turn or what to do first. I had no future goals. So I started with the basics—eat, drink water, and sleep.
I took time to walk in the evenings and that helped lift my spirits. I listened to music; I wrote my thoughts in notebooks.
I was still working a job which put structure in my life and got me out of the house. I set a goal to pay off my debts as quickly as possible, charting it out month by month. Seeing the baby steps with my bills encouraged me, and I finally reached my goal of no debt!
Very gradually I set other small goals—painting walls at my house, moving furniture. I enrolled in a class at K-State where I was truly an older learner. By taking action, I slowly I had glimmers of hope that I could find joy in life again.
Goals do not have to be fancy or complicated. We need faith to “see” ourselves accomplishing a goal, as Sam “saw” himself getting a rabbit. And just in case your “tomorrow” dream does not work right away, realize that it’s okay. Sometimes it takes time, so don’t give up!
If you are grieving, be patient with yourself and your situation—no two people grieve in the same way or at the same pace. Like Sam, write down your goals no matter how small, and plan for your dreams to come true. And don’t hesitate to “take action” when you are ready.
Call about the next "Living Life after Loss" Group at:
Meadowlark Hospice 709 Liberty Clay Center, Kansas
(785) 632-2225
Dawn Phelps, RN/LMSW, Group Facilitator